You always have a choice

2 min readJul 24, 2020

We live in times where it is easy to be triggered by someone and then go on Tweeter/Facebook/<your favourite media> to complain about and raise your point of view on how you were wronged. Some of these point of views are big and important and need a lot of people to get together to make a difference in our society. So keep bringing them up.

Some are individual and we/you/me can make a change by just speaking up/assuming positive intent/clarify.

It is easy to go and complain on media. It seems to not be easy to say something live/face-to-face. I am noticing this even from people that are leaders/thought leaders/very loud and active on media. And yet, not able to do this live.

I understand that going against some point of views in media has created a lot of problems for many individuals. They have been personally threaten and doxed. So why do we still chose media to go and complain? Why is it so hard for us to speak to each-other?

Can we:

  • Clarify what the other person meant when they said/did something that triggered us
  • Assume they mean well and it is maybe just a moment where they forgot to do one of the 10 steps in the process for something to be “Perfect” in your eyes
  • Stop and offer an option if it is not given and see how it is taken/accepted/used

If none of these works, then you have a CHOICE to make.

You can continue and be unhappy/angry/unsatisfied/unfulfilled, or you can leave.

Leave right there to show you stance/integrity/side/values. Staying and then going on media to complain is low.

It doesn’t help you because you continue to be unhappy and the trigger is unresolved. It doesn’t help others because they are not clear what is going on and what triggered you. They might not even know you are complaining about them, to have a chance to explain or clarify things with you.

And, it doesn’t help to have future meetings/meetups/sessions/conversation in a better and fulfilling way for both sides, where we understand each-other needs and triggers.

No improvement is made.




Customers buy products not project, so make good products. Change and be Lean. If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies